When couples with children in Minnesota divorce, emotions can run high. Returning the focus of the negotiations will give you a child-centered divorce that will help minimize stress for everyone involved.
Protecting your children is paramount
Children need reassurance during the divorce process that they were not the cause of the split, even though their parents will live apart in the future. To minimize the effect on hour children, focus on these four steps:
- Stay out of court
- Focus on recovery instead of revenge
- Focus on the relationship with your children
- Don’t rush or drag out your divorce
Commit with your spouse to avoid court, as litigation creates a win-lose situation. Staying out of court helps lessen the cost of divorce and eases overall conflict. You want your children to feel safe and loved, so instead of focusing on revenge, think about their recovery from this trauma and yours. Discuss the reasons and the process for the split so that they understand what is occurring. Listen to what your children are saying and answer their questions without any animosity toward the other parent. At the same time, try to find a happy medium in the divorce timeline. Rushing through it may leave everyone in a bad position, but healing will be more difficult if it takes too long.
Child-centered divorce also helps parents
Even though you may want to fight back as hard as you can during the divorce negotiation process, finding alternative resolution methods like mediation or other alternative dispute resolution methods can help you get through this stressful like event, allowing you to focus on your children. An amicable divorce with your spouse can smooth the road ahead when considering other life events involving your offspring.
Consider getting help from counselors and psychologists for you and your children. Healing from divorce takes a year or two. Allowing your children to work out their feelings about the split can help set a good foundation for future relationships.