Divorce and separation while children are still young can easily occur. Some couples do not even make it through a pregnancy together. Others find that the strain of new parenthood does immense damage to their relationship.
If they decide to divorce or separate, both parents may feel anxious about custody arrangements for their young children. After all, infants and toddlers are at a very vulnerable point in their development. Parents may worry about damaging a child’s development or struggling to establish their bond with the child because of the divorce or separation. There is no one-size-fits-all way to fairly address parental rights and responsibilities in cases involving young children.
What factors do the parents or the courts need to carefully consider when attempting to establish custody arrangements?
The primary caregiver bond
The chances are good that the child has already bonded with one parent who serves as their primary caregiver. If one parent stays home from work to care for the child or if they consistently get up with the child at night when they need support, the child may have already identified one parent as their primary caregiver.
In such scenarios, maintaining a close relationship with that caregiver is of the utmost importance for the child’s sense of security. Ensuring that a young child doesn’t go extended periods without seeing their primary caregiver may limit the other parent to visitation initially. However, regular visits, possibly every day after work, can produce a very strong bond between the other parent and child.
The main source of nutrition
How the parents feed the child is also an important consideration. Many families with two working parents use formula, but not all do. If the mother has chosen to breastfeed, the need to maintain her Supply is important for at least the first year of the child’s life. Overnight visitation may not be an option until a child is older and the parents wean them off of breast milk.
The schedules of the parents
A newborn, infant or toddler requires constant supervision and support. Parents need to monitor their behavior, recognize their hunger and ensure they get adequate rest. A parent working a high-demand job with long shifts may not be able to serve as the regular primary caregiver for the child while they are still small.
The good news is that a custody arrangement created for a toddler or infant can include terms designed to grow with the baby. Parents can make concessions initially and also arrange for the parent with less time to slowly increase how long they spend with the child until they reach an ideal division of parenting time. Thinking carefully about family circumstances and the needs of a young child can help parents establish a reasonable and appropriate custody arrangement even when their child is very young.