You’ve managed what seemed like the toughest battle in your life: divorcing a narcissist in Minnesota. Now, you have to work together with that person to raise your child, at least until they turn 18 or finish college (as per your custody order). Some strategies that could help you manage include:
Establishing strong boundaries
Establishing strong boundaries means setting clear expectations and rules for your interactions, being firm in your resolve and not accepting any type of abuse. It’s also important to keep communication to a minimum, as narcissists are often master manipulators who will use words to try and control the situation.
Considering parallel parenting
According to Minnesota family law, “parallel parenting” is when both parents take on separate roles and responsibilities in their child’s life. This type of arrangement can work well if both parents are able to put their differences aside and focus on what’s best for the child. It also helps to minimize contact between the two parents, which can be a relief after dealing with a narcissist.
Letting your kids be kids
The other parent may have serious faults, but they are still your kids’ father or mom. The court awarded them visitation or custody because they understand the importance of a parent in a child’s life. Even if you feel compelled to expose the toxic traits of the other parent to your children, you shouldn’t. Children are not mature enough or well equipped to deal with adult stressors. Thusly, it could have a much worse effect on them, especially when they are still trying to cope with your divorce or separation.
Always control yourself
It’s not always easy, but try your best to remain calm and in control when dealing with the narcissist. They will try to bait you into losing your temper or getting emotional, as this gives them a sense of power. If they see that they can’t get a rise out of you, they may eventually give up and leave you alone.
Dealing with a narcissist is tough, but it’s especially more challenging when you have to co-parent with one. By following the tips above, you can make the situation more manageable and hopefully reduce some of the stress in your life.